Saturday, March 26, 2011

Seedy Saturdays: The Inbetweenies

Welcome to Seedy Saturdays! A place where we take an honest look at our thoughts and God’s word.

This week, we are going to talk about black and white thinking, or all or nothing thinking. We all know “those” black and white people, or maybe we are one of “those” black and white people. To them, things are either one way, or the other. My husband is this way. He is a police officer, and to him, behaviors are either right or wrong. A law was broken, or it wasn’t. But to me…it goes so much deeper than that. Why did the person act like that? Do they have a past history of abuse? Are they mentally ill? With me there is all sorts of grey.

When it comes to personality type, there is nothing wrong with being black and white, or being gray. We NEED them both. I know I would be an awful police officer, and my husband would be more like a drill sergeant than a counselor, LOL! But…when it comes to our thinking…I think we will find that being a black and white thinker can get us stuck.

What happens when you fail at something? Or maybe you don’t even fail. What happens when someone offers you constructive criticism that looks to you like failure? What goes through your mind?

For a long time, when someone gave me constructive criticism, my mind went whirling. I suddenly started hashing through all the ways that I would never be a good counselor, that I probably couldn’t even be a good mom, or even a good wife. I might as well go out and crawl into the dog house outside, because I was nothing but a complete failure. That’s black and white thinking…thinking that because someone suggested we could improve on something…that we are a complete failure. Either we are a complete success or a complete failure. Either we are mom of the year, or we aren’t even capable of caring for our children’s basic needs. Either we are Beth Moore or Satan’s spawn. No room for inbetweenies. It’s easy to see how this thinking can keep us trapped.

Satan loves to trap us in this type of thinking, especially if we are following God’s will. Remember, He is the father of lies. Let me use and example out of my own life. I sent of 3 scholarship entries to she speaks. I didn’t win any of them. If I had allowed, I could have trapped myself into believing that because I didn’t win a scholarship that I shouldn’t go…that I’m not good enough to go. I might have even begun to believe that chasing this dream of being a writer is a lost cause anyway. That I was a failure. Nothing would have made Satan happier…one more Word girl out of the way! But, NO, I must temper this black and white thinking with truth.

The truth spoken in 2 Corinthians 12:9, that His power is made perfect in my weakness, and that His grace is sufficient for me. The truth of Psalm 138:8 that He will fulfill His purpose for me, and that He will not abandon the work of His hands. That is the truth. He will provide, and I can take the suggestions given to me about my writing, and learn to write even better!

What kind of black and white thoughts have you struggled with? And what biblical truths have you used to battle them and keep them from growing into big fat ugly weeds?


  1. Its been awhile since Ive checked in... so good! I am guilty of having the b&w thinking without a response from truth... :)

  2. Oh goodness! I couldn't agree with you more. I have come so far and yet want to go so much further in this journey! This week I have struggled with black thoughts. While my kids are visiting family and away during spring break, I haven't heard from them as much as I want. They must like being gone from me, I'm not that good of a mother. Crazy to say those thoughts play across my mind and dabble with my emotions! I KNOW BETTER!

  3. This is a very good post! Thanks for stopping by my site. I'm glad you found me!

  4. Robyn, it is crazy how something can get our thoughts whirling, huh? Sometimes I just have to say out loud, STOP!

    Lisa! Thanks for the follow!!! Glad to meet you!

  5. I have enjoyed reading back through many of your blogs. I think we may have a lot in common. If you ever want to talk I would enjoy it.