I really had no intentions of talking about it. Panic attacks, yes, I have those. But that is it.
I had no intentions of talking about it, but God did.
Have you ever gone up to the attic or into storage to look for something, and you end up finding something you never even remembered putting there? That’s kind of what happened to me. I had put that memory into storage, and really didn’t remember putting it there. It wasn’t like it was this constant memory that plagued me for the ten years that would go by before I talked about it. I barely even knew it was there. Except for the symptoms, I certainly was experiencing some symptoms.
I went into the storage facilities of my mind trying to locate a reason for the anxiety that was troubling me, but what I found was a huge surprise (even though I was the one who had stored it there in the first place). It was that dirty dusty box in the back corner that had been covered up with mountains of perfected looking sunshine-ey accomplishment boxes.
I didn’t go into counseling looking for healing, but somehow healing found me. It was kind of like a sneak attack. I am certain I would have never gone into counseling under any circumstances other than the ones I did - that it was a bonus point in my techniques of counseling class, and that I only had pesky panic attacks to deal with – I felt as if there were no “real” issues.
A sneak attack of healing – that rained down out of a corner box containing a thunderstorm that was soon to erupt. Maybe that is part of the reason why we can’t see into the future…because if we could…we might not go…the road would look to bumpy…and even though we saw sunshine at the end…the clouds would look to scary. So we would choose to stay right where we are at, never moving an inch.
That’s the beauty of the Lord…of our Savior…even when we weren’t looking for healing, He was. He saved us before we even knew we needed to be saved. Is it possible that the circumstances you are facing right now could be a sneak attack of healing in the making?