Sunday, May 22, 2011

He uses parts...even the broken ones...

I still remember like it was yesterday…the day I went in to talk about “it”.

What would I call it when I talked about it? Would I have to use the “r” word?

I couldn’t tell her about the sweat, about the touching, about the body parts. What was I going to call the body parts?

They made me cringe just thinking about them. It was as if they were just that. Just body parts. Not even attached to a man or a woman. Just parts that existed. Parts that existed to inflict emotional pain. He did not touch me, He touched parts. He did not hurt me, he hurt parts. He did not rape me, He raped parts. Just parts, that’s it. Nameless, faceless parts in a truck that night. Parts that I left there, and never wanted to talk about again. Buried parts. Parts that I hated. Parts that I despised. Parts that I could never forgive myself for.

That day I talked about it for the first time. The parts. For the first time the parts of me that had never been seen before were now exposed. And when the air hit the wound…it stung…big time.

Over time, my counselor helped me clean the wound, and Jesus began the long process that still continues of healing the wound. It certainly didn’t happen overnight…but somehow Jesus brought me to the point where I could breathe again.

The very parts of my life that Satan had used to bind me to the rock of shame, are now the parts that bind me to the rock of my Savior.

And starting May 29th, God will again astonish me with His use of broken parts as I begin Melissa Taylor’s Online Bible Study using Wendy Blight‘s book “Hidden Joy in a Dark Corner”.

Two years ago…if you ever would have told me that “God could use this”. I would have wanted to slap you. How could God ever use such pain?

My dear sister, I don’t know the answer to "how", or to all the questions we ask about the “why”. But, I do know this. You have a choice. To allow God to take the pain and draw you closer to Him, or to allow it to drive a stake through the core of your heart, never allowing Him to come in.

It’s risky I know. But if there is one thing I know about my Jesus, it is that His word is true. And He tells us, “Do not fear, for I am with you; Do not anxiously look about you, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, surely I will help you, Surely I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10

He’s got you girl…with His right hand He WILL uphold you.

I would love it if you would consider joining me as part of the “Hidden Joy” Bible Study. All you have to do is click here to sign up!

God has already showed His hand in this study in so many ways…don’t let fear hold you back one more day…it’s time to plunge into the His swimming pool of healing…He will teach you how to swim!


  1. Brave post, Stephanie! I will look forward to hearing what else God lays on your heart to share via the conference calls within the Hidden Joy study. I love that "Deliver Me" song by David Crowder Band by the way! Blessings!

  2. Bless you, Stephanie, and all your sweet parts, as you continue to heal and share you story with others. What a blessing you are. As a mom and your sister in Christ, I want to say. . . I am so sorry that you were raped.

    This is an amazing post.


  3. Stephanie,

    Your story brings hope. If you can heal and see God's hand in your life, then surely we can believe it can happen for us too.

    I am so thankful to have you as a part of this study. I knew you were the perfect person to partner with in bringing hope and healing to so many of us who are broken.

    Thank you for sharing and for being available to us during this study!

    Love You,

  4. Stephanie,

    I just LOVE reading this. Though parts of it are raw and hard to read, they make the last part of the story all the more powerful. Praise God for His faithfulness!!

    Can't wait to get to know you better through Melissa's on-line study. We are so blessed to partner with you to bring God's Hope and healing to broken and hurting women!!



  5. I cried as I read this. To see God's love and your trust in that is astounding. What a gentle healer we serve. What a faith-filled heart you possess.

    Love this: "The very parts of my life that Satan had used to bind me to the rock of shame, are now the parts that bind me to the rock of my Savior. "

    Love you!!

  6. Suzanne, so glad you will be on the conference calls! I am so excited about this study!

  7. Glenda...your comment made me teary eyed. Thank you for being so genuine and caring...I am sorry too...but so thankful and so blessed...God is so good.

  8. Melissa, thank you for the opportunity ot be a part of this. I have stood amazed by your strength since the moment I first met you on your blog...when you posted your story the first time...and I thought, yea, she gets me. And then the story of your are amazing have blessed my life so much...:)

  9. Wendy! I can't wait to dive into your book! THank you for offering all of us the opportunity through your words to discover continued and expanded freedom in Christ!

  10. Samantha Reed. I love you dearest sister. I can't wait to give you a big ole hug at she speaks. you make my heart happy.

  11. This is so huge for you! I just clicked over: "The Go To Girl", she says! I am doing the happy dance for you!

  12. Such an honest and hope filled post. Amazing how God can use those broken parts. Truly beautiful. I'm excited to read about and see how God makes beauty from ashes.

    thanks for sharing, Stephanie.


  13. I am humbled by your words. You have allowed Our Lord to use every part of you for His Glory!

    Thank you so much for sharing...

    Mrs. M.

  14. Stephanie, you are amazing for allowing our Lord to bring you to this place. It's a choice and the beauty of your words testify to what you have allowed God to do. I'm praying this study will solidify this journey to wholeness.


  15. Right there with you. Nice to 'meet' you. One thing I have learned is that God can use the pretty parts that we're proud of and eager to share. AND He can use the vulnerable, scared, broken parts that we want to keep hidden. God is BIG and is using me, a total wretch, to reach other hurting people. Amazing. You are brave.

  16. Visiting from Soli Deo Gloria. I am so impressed with this post and how your true self shines through. And an online Bible study sounds like just what I need, unfortunately the timing is off for me! Hopefully I'll be able to find one later in the summer.

  17. This is beautiful, Stephanie. I loved your honesty and openness. Thank you for sharing how God is able to take those parts in our life that were meant for harm and turn them around into something amazing.