I went to a conference Thursday about sex. Yep, sex, and pornography, and child sexual abuse, and rape. Sounds like an awesome time, huh? LOL! It was definitely tough to listen too, but I really learned a lot. Perhaps the thing that resonated the most with me was the way our society has become slowly more and more desensitized to pornography and the objectification of women. But…what tugged at my heartstrings was this…what about these sweet children who were abused and these women who were abused as children, still walking around with that shameful and dirty feeling little girl inside. My heart bleeds for them.
You see, so many times when a child is sexually abused, they internalize the shame, feeling like the whole thing that happened was their fault. And not only that, they become sexualized, and often exhibit sexual behavior from that point on in order to fulfill their needs for love and affection. Leading to patterns of behavior that only lead to more hurt and more victimization.
For a long time now, I have felt the tug on my heart to talk about sex. “Why God?”, I asked. “There are plenty of good books about sex in marriage out there, and plenty about purity?”. But lately God has really spoken to my heart about speaking to a different population. Those who have been abused or assaulted, especially teens, and letting them know that God offers then a new beginning. A new opportunity to bloom, to spring up, with the joy of Jesus in their hearts, and embrace that beautiful little girl who is hurting, and learn to love her. Because if they can let go of the shame, if they can drop that baggage at the foot of the cross and realize it was not their fault…things change.
Here is a little composition I wrote when I was deep in the throws of my own grieving, about two years ago…sharing it with you…and please feel free to pass it along…
Today I took a moment to glance into the past
I met a little girl, who I had forgotten for long, at last
She was so beautiful, yet pain was in her eyes
She had been torn and broken, and no one heart her cries
Lonely and afraid, she buried herself within
Hidden for so long, never wanting to come out again
I gently took her hand, and held her as she cried
She had been gone so long, it felt like she had died
I told her that I loved her, and invited her to come
To see the life that God had made, he loved her all along.
At first she hesitated, not wanting to let go
She reminded me of her scars, her beauty no one would know
I brushed the shame off of her face, her eyes began to lift
And then God wrapped her in his arms and reminded her of His gift
She slowly stepped into the light, for all who cared to see
The shame, the guilt, the doubt, let out as she smiled longingly
And then I brought her home, though she’d been there all along
But now she’s free, forgiven, embraced, and she can carry on.
Author Ann Voskamp is offering a scholarship to this amazing conference called She Speaks. It is a conference put on by the amazing women over at Proverbs 31 ministries to encourage and equip women who feel let to serve the Lord through writing, speaking, or leading. To find out more about She Speaks and how you can go…click here!!!