Seeking Deliverance

Despite that fact that I have been a Christian for many years, and grew up in a wonderful Christian family, I can look back and see that for years I have been constantly in pursuit of my deliverer. Not my real deliverer, but a deliverer in human form. Throughout the years I have sought and sought people to save me. People who might make me feel better about myself, that person who might make me feel worthy. I have sought it from my husband, and I have sought it from countless friends and mentors. The problem being, none of them have ever been successful. Imagine that!?!?

God has sent me some truly amazing people in my life, including an amazing husband, beautiful children, and amazing women of faith. Yet none have been able to complete the task of deliverance. And when they don’t, I become disheartened and usually distance from them in search of another.

As I have been begging God to break me free from the bondage of depression and anxiety he has shown me one big fat ugly sin, well make that several, but I am attacking them one at a time! He has shown me that because of my own pride and self-absorption I have been neglecting to even reach up my hand to him. I have believed that I can either climb out myself, or find the right person to pull me out. Or if not that, at times I have been so comfortable in the pit of myself, I felt that there was really no reason to come out.

God gives us some wonderful people. I can think of one right now that without her loving kindness walking me through some past hurt, I just might have let Satan bury me alive. But she, nor anyone else, is my redeemer or my deliverer. God will not take second place in our lives, he wants it all or nothing from us, and he deserves it all. He will not fail us, it’s just a little harder sometimes to trust in that unseen hand when someone around us may be more visible.

“Faithfulness is never passive, It is the active filling of every gap with faith” Beth Moore

“He did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had power to do what He had promised.” Romans 4: 20-21