Have you ever been bitten by a dog? I have. And if you have ever been bitten by a dog, you know that despite the fact that hundreds of dogs haven’t bitten you, you will still remember the 1 dog that did bite you. Even if you get over this fear and become a dog lover, you will most likely always keep in the back of your head that incident where the dog bit you.
I kind of liken my circumstances to this. 100’s of people have told me how worthy I am. That I am beautiful. That I am smart. That I am perfect just the way God made me. I have read verse upon verse in the Bible that tell me that God loves me despite my flaws. And yet, I remember the dog bite. I remember the one person, or handful of people, that told me the exact opposite.
We tend to walk around in a state of looking to verify what we already believe. So, if I see a kid get bit by a dog, I might say, “see I told you dog’s bite”.
In the same way we walk around looking to verify our feelings of unworthiness. We might have 5 good things happen to us in one day, but what do we remember? The one time we failed, the one bad thing. What do we dwell on? the one time it went wrong.
I think this speaks a lot into why we have such a hard time believing the truths of the Bible. Because they are not natural to us. They don’t make sense to us. His love is so unbelievably off the charts that we compare it to the others that have known and or “loved” us in our lives, and think that the kind of love Christ speaks of towards us, is impossible. It doesn’t fit into the premade mold we have in our minds.
I know it is hard to believe these things. It would be so nice if just naturally we believed in supernatural love. But sometimes, it’s not natural.
We live in a world where there is good and there is evil. And I can assure you Satan does not want you to grab hold of the truth of God’s word. So, he will put everything he can in your path to confirm the exact opposite: that God doesn’t love you, that He can’t heal you, or doesn’t want to heal you.
One thing I have found helpful is to literally cry out “help me overcome my unbelief”, just as a boy’s father cried to Jesus in Mark 9:24. The other thing is just to repeat the truths of the Bible, of God’s word, and love…over…and over…and over…and over…and over again!!!! Just like you repeat the negative thoughts like a tape in your brain, you have to replace that tape with a new recording, which takes time, BUT IT CAN BE DONE!!!
Praying that God gives you the strength to keep up the fight for freedom girls, freedom always seems to come with a fight, yes? But in the end…as I have said before...it is SOOOOOOOOOOOO worth it!