Monday, October 25, 2010

I'm all itchy

I went to Women of Faith this weekend in San Antonio. Awesome is the only way I know to describe it. Seeing so many women gathered together to worship and learn more about our amazing Savior, it was simply amazing. And yet, I leave a bit confused, as I always seem to do. For as long as I can remember, I have been unable to attend an event such as this without feeling intense, I can't find the word, so I am going to call it itchyness. Intense itchyness. Even as a little girl attending church camp, I couldn't just come home like the other kids being simply glad to be home, I come home all itchy. All itchy to take action.

While I was going to counseling, I found out that a lot of my motivation to acheive was out of a need to counteract feelings of shame. But not this, not this itchyness. I don't think it is the same. This kind of itchyness is a passionate longing to minister to others. A passionate longing for ministry. It has never ever been enough for me to take in a message and apply it to my life. I have this burning need to reach out to others. I want to tell and tell and tell and tell, they need to be set free. They need to know that freedom is possible.

I know that God has put this itchyness in me for a reason, and maybe others feel the same itchyness and just don't talk about it. But...for me it is consuming. I trust that God would not put such a longing desire to spread His word in my heart without a purpose. He has given me passion for a purpose, and i know that He has me exactly where He wants me for know. But I can't help but passionately pray that He gives me opportunities in ministry. I know it may never happen, but I hope it does, I dream it does. So...I am picking back up my computer and am going to start finishing one of the many scripts I have started for a book. The hardest thing for me to do it seems is finish what I have started. But, finish I will. Because it's all I know to do with this Holy passion itchyness that burns, and let God do with it what He will. Amen.


  1. Nice post! What a great way to describe it...itchyness. I feel the itch too...I have an incredible desire to share with others what Christ can do for them! I sometimes need to remind myself that there is season for everything. Where He has planted me right now is where I need to shine His light. Thanks for this.

  2. I totally get it! I will pray for you -- and I know that God has already called you to ministry, you may just not see it yet. You do it though, right here on your blog. His light is bright through you.

    Will you please go to my last blog post and check out what I wrote about? I would love for you to be a part of it.

  3. The purpose He has in mind for the passion He has given you is.....Me, and all those like me who find strength and courage through you. Love you bunches and so totally understand the itchyness.

  4. I came back from WOF San Antonio feeling a similar tug coupled with excitement in my heart. I call it more of a re-igniting of passion that is buried deep within my heart. I have felt this in the past after other WOF events. Yet, this time was a little different, perhaps more intense.

    I am still in awe of how God worked through the Bay City Women, Women of Faith, and World Vision. I am humbled as I think about this. One (or perhaps a few) woman came back from WOF 2009 with this itchyness that you describe. She followed God's lead. Just look at how many people have been blessed by her obedience! There are 1,000 children plus their families and communities, the paralyzed sister, the 71 women in the Bay City group, and an untold number of women inspired by their story. God is truly amazing.

    Now comes the hard question: What are YOU going to do with the itchyness?

  5. Kristi- Your comment pierces my heart, What on earth am I going to do with the itchyness?!?!? I suppose for now I am going to pray and write. I really really really feel the call to write, yet I am always to lazy to finish what I start. So I suppose the first act of scratching the itch is attepmting to finish the script I have begun. sweet bloggy friends, pray for direction and guidance from the spirit as I once again begin the long process of writing. But I do not begin it alone...anything I write worth sneezing at is the spirit speaking through me and Him will begin to write!

  6. Thank ya'll for the sweet wonderful comments, they make my heart so happy! I do not doubt that God has me exactly in the place He wants me and His timing is perfect. And I feel blessed beyond measure that He has given me the opportunities He continues to give through blogging. He has already far exceeded my imagination...and I can't wait to see what He has next for ALL of us beautiful daughters of Christ!!! Much love and blessings dear sisters :)!!!