Friday, September 17, 2010

Caffienated Randomness: The woman I want to be

“He did not waver through unbelief regarding the promise of God, but was strengthened in his faith and gave glory to God, being fully persuaded that God had the power to do what He had promised.” Romans 4:20-21

She did not waver in unbelief. She is not swayed to the right and to the left. When others come and tell her what they think about this or that, she did not move. She stayed steady in her beliefs. She redirects her mind to the place she knows is true, the spirit that lives in her that is life. She acknowledges that the Bible is truth; God’s word is truth, regardless of her feelings. And He is sovereign, even right now, in this. She did not waver.

She was strengthened in her faith giving glory to God. She watched the things that went on, she watched the pain bubbling out everywhere, yet she gave glory to God. She sat quietly and thanked Him for what she knows is true. That regardless of all circumstances, even in pain, she can be content and strong because of the strength of her God.

She is FULLY persuaded that God has the power to do what he has promised. She does not waver in knowing that He has saved her, and that He has saved every single one who cries out to him. She knows He will take care of her and everyone around her, she knows that even in this He is working in the pain. She knows all things work together for the good.

So she quiets her wandering wavering mind. Knowing that she was made to do so. Knowing that she was never made to carry burdens alone. Knowing that although she cannot fix things, she can fill the gaps with faith. She knows that rest is a choice she makes daily, she can rest in Him, or she can franticly run with the world, but she chooses rest in Him.

Thank you God that I can rest in you, that your scripture speaks the truth and that despite the pain and struggles you can guide my heart to a place of unwavering strength and belief. Please help me to be the she that I write about, the she that I want to be, the woman of God that you can make me. Most of all I ask that you bind the flesh in me, so that through all of this the only words that exit my mouth are words that you speak through me. You are working even in this God. I will quiet my spirit and trust your strength. Humble my spirit, so that I may serve, and do whatever you would have me to do. Don’t let me resist the promptings of the spirit out of fear, and guard my heart and mind from anger, fear, resentment, and bitterness. Bless and keep all of us God. We love you.


  1. I love your line about filling the gaps with faith. So true and so good to remember.

  2. This was beautiful and brutally honest. I too long to be that woman you write about. Thank you for sharing with us.

  3. Oh, Stephanie. This is completely beautiful. Your writing is so honest and real and I too strive to be that woman.

    I am so impressed with your courage and taking this horrible thing that happened to you to use for God's glory. I know He is so very pleased with you.

    Do all for the glory of God - and you are.

    Natalie at Mommy on Fire