Do you ever have one of those nights where it feels as if angels and demons are wrestling right above you? Had one of those nights last night. And honestly, this morning I hesitated with whether or not I wanted to share about the massive amount of conviction that kept me up last night, or rather just sweep it under the rug and pretend it never happened. I kind of was opting for never happened until I remembered it was link up day to Jen at Finding Heaven, and after reading her post, yes, okay God, I will share.
You see, it is easy for me to share my struggles when it comes to things such as depression or healing from past hurts and pains. Somehow these struggles have taken on a "holy" vibe to me. However, I still have a hard time sharing the "real" sin struggles. The struggles with things like pride.
Last night Sam at Fields of Gold linked to my blog. I was so excited, because I felt so honored to be linked to by such an awesome writer. However, I woke up last night realizing that in the excitement that she liked my post, I NEVER EVER EVER EVER even thought much about the pain behind her words. I thought about my own pain behind my words, but never hers. So there I was at 2 am, with God telling me, you need to appoligize to her. Your head got swelled up so big with the yourself, that you never even followed the passion of what you set out to do. Reach out to women and pray for women who struggle just like you do.
I didn't start blogging to get more followers or more likes, yet on days it seems as if that is what I am after. I didn't start blogging to make myself look good. I started blogging so that maybe someone else could derive some benefit from the journey of my own pain and struggles. I started blogging so that women who feel alone, might know that they are not so alone. I started blogging because it was what I felt God wanted me to do. Where did I make the wrong turn? I'm not really sure. But it's time to whip a u-turn and head back up the road to where I started from. So glad our God is a God of second chances.
Today I am linking up with Jen at Finding Heaven as a part of a new sitsterhood that is not about "THE QUALITY OF OUR WORDS BUT ABOUT LIVING THOSE WORDS". Praying for all of us sisters that whatever our struggles, we will see God's hand working as never before.