Wherever you go...there you are

So….this morning started off plain enough. I got up, got ready, took the kids to school, and headed to work. As I pulled into the parking lot, I had a choice to make. I can go inside and stare mindlessly at the computer for an hour while I wake up, or I can go over to the school I do a prevention program at and work with some teens. I sat there…knowing what I needed to do…there were kids I needed to see. But, somehow the mindlessness of opening my emails and drinking some coffee while I woke up seemed to beckon me.

I made the right choice, today that is, many times I have made the wrong one. I went to the school, and found myself enjoying the kids as I always do. But…I couldn’t help but feel the spirit tugging at me. Why am I so reluctant to come over and make a difference in some kids lives? Shouldn’t I be excited about this?!? Why would I rather stare at a computer and vegetate than actually do something worth while? Why?

Because somewhere along the line working with these kids became not good enough for me. Somewhere along the lines, I decided to abandon what I am doing right now with my heart, and place my heart in the future. Somewhere I decided that I want more than this. I decided that I wanted to be in ministry and working with survivors of sexual assault and kids with autism. I decided that I want my own private practice where I do yoga and Christian Counseling. I decided to mentally check out of the present and into the future.

Who on earth do I think I am? Somewhere did I put myself in charge of my destiny? When did counseling kids who desperately need someone to listen become not good enough? If this is not conviction, I don’t know what is!!!

So tomorrow I start again, and OMG I am so thankful that I get to start again. I may want a lot of things in the future, and some of those may come to pass, and some of them may not. But…this is not my choice. All I can do, all I need to do, is be a servant in the place that God has put me RIGHT NOW!

How sneaky Satan is. Sometimes He just taunts us with who we “could” be so that we completely abandon who we are and everyone around us, rendering us completely ineffective and stuck inside the dreamland of our heads. Well, not anymore!!! This chick is saying enough!!! God has planted my feet where He wants them to be for now, and I will serve and consider myself BLESSED beyond measure to have the opportunity to work with such amazing kids. The most beautiful perfect place to be is right where He has me 