dishonorable discharge...

Dishonorable discharge. I really haven’t ever heard this word accept when speaking of the military. But when I came across the word dishonor in the Bible this morning, I wondered what it actually meant. In the context of the verse I believe it meant “disgrace”, but there was another definition that surprised and struck me. It was that of being sexually assaulted, being “dishonored”.
I cannot think of a more appropriate word…dishonor. She was raped…she was seduced into child pornography…she was touched by a family member…in every case…she was DISHONORED. The sacred, the innocence, was treated with violence…and now she feels dirty.

I constantly stand in amazement of how the dirty sin of the perpetrator somehow transfers over to the victim. The transaction is sickly strange. The perpetrator makes a withdrawal out of the victim’s innocence and confidence bank… and then deposits a double portion of shame, fear, guilt, and doubt to replace the balance.
Victims often feel as if their only option is to draw from their own bank account, and given that their bank account was hijacked, they draw from feelings of dishonor. But what if there was another bank account…one that has been set aside for them since the beginning of time. An account full of unconditional love, forgiveness, restoration, freedom, and grace. An account that has no withdrawal fees, and there is no way it can ever be overdrafted.

Isaiah 61:7 says “Instead of their shame my people will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace they will rejoice in their inheritance; and so they will inherit a double portion in their land, and everlasting joy will be theirs.”
Christ has an inheritance for you beyond all comprehension. And the best news it has a double portion of my favorite thing, EVERLASTING JOY!
Dishonor…I think we might as well give it a “dishonorable discharge”, because there is no reason to continue to honor a bank account of lies. Instead, let’s honor the truth – and dive into the bank account of Jesus’ crazy love!

sevices added

Services Added
Let me introduce you to Mr. Bill. He is a wonderful man who has been dealt a tumultuous deck of cards. When I met him, he was living in a car with his young son. His house? Too infested with rats to live in.

If I was Mr. Bill, I imagine that I would give that rotten landlord a piece of my mind for not taking care of a house that should be condemned and accepting rent for something that is nothing more than 4 walls. Yet…Mr. Bill pays his rent every month, and does not speak one harsh word against anyone.
Mr. Bill meets all of his and his son’s needs on an amount of money that I use to pay a cell phone and car payment each month. I don’t know how he does it, but his son is never hungry, and he is at school every day. The love he has for his son, it just pours out of his eyes into a pool on the table that I am sitting at. And I watch in amazement as I see a glimpse of Jesus.

I’m not quite sure, but, I wonder if he can read? He seems to have a difficult time understanding all the technical paperwork required to receive assistance, but his Bible, he reads it daily. That’s my Jesus, even if a person isn’t able to read, they can read his word and soak in every element of content.
As part of my job I am supposed to fill out a form called
“services added”. Kind of a laundry list of services that I have offered to clients.
Mr. Bill, I think today, this should be your form to fill out. You added way more services to my heart today than I could ever offer you in terms of worldly measures. Empathy…understanding…peace amidst a storm…faith that surpasses all understanding…unconditional love. Mr. Bill, you showed me all of these today. Not in a fake kind of way like I have seen before, but in the most real glimpse of Jesus dwelling in a man’s soul that I have ever seen.
Thank you Mr. Bill, for services added.

Human trafficking...it happens here...in the US

I read about human trafficking for the first time today...

It broke my heart.

If it is for freedom that we have been set free...

I think it is time to do something...

Imagine being a teenage girl without a home...

No parents, no family, no money...

Your father sexually abused you, and then you were abandoned...

Someone makes you feel beautiful, he promises to love you, protect you...

He says he loves you...

You always wanted to be loved...

The sex gets rougher, it starts to hurt you...

You try to escape, there is no way out...

If there is a God...why doesn't he help you?

You feel so alone...

Abandoned, Ashamed, Dirty, Afraid...

It's called human trafficking...yes it happens here...

In your country, your state, your city, your town...

It's time for it to STOP...

Will you help her to see that God is real?

Help her to find a way out...

Support efforts to end human trafficking...

Ler her know that she is not alone...

There is a way out...

She is loved by God

For more information and to find out how you can help visit the Salvation Army's website here.

Christ came to break the bondage, to free the captives, those whom He has set free are free indeed, it's time for some freedom...

Meditations on a greyish morning...

“The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship.” Psalm 19:1

Grey clouds surround me. I am enamored by the weight of presence. The movement in the skies. What must the clouds must be thinking…

They shuffle along quickly. A storm will come to pass. Bubbling and brewing, making movement for their God.

Life moves quickly, as they pass through one phase to another. Some disappearing into a vapory mist. Some building tumultuous storms. Some simply stand still in white puffy happiness.

An opening appears.

Pure blue, only a glimpse through dull greyness. They separate to allow emptiness between themselves. A brief glimpse of the heavens amidst the dawning of the storm.

A way is made through the clouds to follow light. I desperately linger among the bitterness unsure if I should go. But the opening begins to fade, so I decide I must.

Stepping through to the other side I find my Savior’s hand to guide me along. Hesitant, I see.

Holy Saturday...

Jesus bled. His blood poured out at the cross and he breathed his last.

Death.

Fear.

Abandonment.

Jesus hears.

What happened?

Between the time that He was brutally crucified and the time that death was no more. Was there a battle in hell for the souls that would now be brought to redemption through an amazing God who cares enough about his people to send a Savior? Was there rejoicing in heaven because the dead were made dead no more? Did Jesus meet up with all the souls throughout the years who had suffered and let them know that it is now finished?

What happened?

Did he look at the dried up blood on his hands and smile because he knew that he had saved me?

What about Mary?

Did she lay in her bed wondering what had just happened. Did she weep for the Jesus she loved? Did her heart ache with countless replays of what she had seen the day before? Did she whence again and again as she thought of him taking her punishment? Did she even know the magnitude of what was just done? Did she know he was going to rise again? Or did her faith falter?

Did she feel abandoned?

Do you feel abandoned?

It is Saturday…the inbetween.

So much disillusionment.

The Christ that was the son of God just died. How could He die? How could a God-man die? Was this even real? No one would know until the next morning? And yet still there would be those who didn’t believe. Who don’t believe.

It’s Saturday. The day in between. The day in between the life we lived before we accepted Christ and the day in between when we will go home.

What will we do with Saturday?

Will he be our everything in the midst? Will his grace continue to amaze us? Will we fall on our knees and call Him father knowing and trusting that He is soon to bring us home?

Will we believe?

Jesus Jesus how I trust you…How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er…Jesus Jesus precious Jesus…deliver me…

Sopping him up with fleshy bread...

Just thought I would share a bit of what I have been working on tonight in the book God has placed on my heart.

No title yet...no chapter outline yet...but I do know much of the 6 chapters I have drafted consist of breaking down the walls that would hinder a relationship with Christ that takes our breath away.

Everyone has a heavenly father that lavishes and pours out more love on us that we could ever sop up with our fleshy bread...walls need to fall...chains need to break so that we can take him in with every fiber of our soul...

So here is a bit from a chapter that I felt compelled to share...I love you girls...and please know that I will be back to blogging regularly soon...


I had this illusion that as long as I determined the course of my life I was in control. I could control my education, I could control my husband, I could control my children. And I felt dang good about it. But I could not control my God. I thought I could, but I could not.

He brought a complete physical, mental, and spiritual breakdown that knocked the living poo out of me and forced me into 2 years of counseling with a recovery that I thought would never happen. He knocked my pride to the floor so hard that it shattered into a million pieces so that I would not go running to pick it back up again.

I would like to say that my healing from this trauma was out of my own will to become a survivor and a thriver. But it was not. It was out of tough love from the Savior that knew I had to hit the ground so hard that I could not get up again without the power of His love.

That’s what it took for me. I wanted so bad to be in control. I needed it, I had to have it. And God knew he was not going to get it back from me without a fight. So He did what he had to do. He broke the walls. He broke the chains. And I thank him for it everyday.


Linking up with my sweet bloggy sister Tiffini at www.thehouseofbelonging.com!

Silence...

Silence. Praying about what to write about today...and I hear just this...silence.

So this is obedience. For this week I have nothing to offer you but more silence. And prayer.

Please hang with me as I struggle through this season of incomprehension and God's work in my writing, and know that I will be back soon. And please read the post below this one to see a bit of where my heart is fluttering about...but for now...obedience and silence.

All my love dearest siters...obedience seems to be the hardest lesson to learn.