Seedy Saturdays: The Inbetweenies

Welcome to Seedy Saturdays! A place where we take an honest look at our thoughts and God’s word.

This week, we are going to talk about black and white thinking, or all or nothing thinking. We all know “those” black and white people, or maybe we are one of “those” black and white people. To them, things are either one way, or the other. My husband is this way. He is a police officer, and to him, behaviors are either right or wrong. A law was broken, or it wasn’t. But to me…it goes so much deeper than that. Why did the person act like that? Do they have a past history of abuse? Are they mentally ill? With me there is all sorts of grey.

When it comes to personality type, there is nothing wrong with being black and white, or being gray. We NEED them both. I know I would be an awful police officer, and my husband would be more like a drill sergeant than a counselor, LOL! But…when it comes to our thinking…I think we will find that being a black and white thinker can get us stuck.

What happens when you fail at something? Or maybe you don’t even fail. What happens when someone offers you constructive criticism that looks to you like failure? What goes through your mind?

For a long time, when someone gave me constructive criticism, my mind went whirling. I suddenly started hashing through all the ways that I would never be a good counselor, that I probably couldn’t even be a good mom, or even a good wife. I might as well go out and crawl into the dog house outside, because I was nothing but a complete failure. That’s black and white thinking…thinking that because someone suggested we could improve on something…that we are a complete failure. Either we are a complete success or a complete failure. Either we are mom of the year, or we aren’t even capable of caring for our children’s basic needs. Either we are Beth Moore or Satan’s spawn. No room for inbetweenies. It’s easy to see how this thinking can keep us trapped.

Satan loves to trap us in this type of thinking, especially if we are following God’s will. Remember, He is the father of lies. Let me use and example out of my own life. I sent of 3 scholarship entries to she speaks. I didn’t win any of them. If I had allowed, I could have trapped myself into believing that because I didn’t win a scholarship that I shouldn’t go…that I’m not good enough to go. I might have even begun to believe that chasing this dream of being a writer is a lost cause anyway. That I was a failure. Nothing would have made Satan happier…one more Word girl out of the way! But, NO, I must temper this black and white thinking with truth.

The truth spoken in 2 Corinthians 12:9, that His power is made perfect in my weakness, and that His grace is sufficient for me. The truth of Psalm 138:8 that He will fulfill His purpose for me, and that He will not abandon the work of His hands. That is the truth. He will provide, and I can take the suggestions given to me about my writing, and learn to write even better!

What kind of black and white thoughts have you struggled with? And what biblical truths have you used to battle them and keep them from growing into big fat ugly weeds?

The place between what we thought we could do...and what God can do

There is definitely a reason God places certain people in our lives. As I read Samantha’s post from Fields of God, which is absolutely astoundingly beautiful by the way (PLEASE go visit her today – you will be blessed), I was reminded. That I overthink sometimes. That I sit here and try to think of the “right” things to say on my blog, and in doing so, I completely cut out the power of the spirit and raise simply the power of the “Stephanie”, which is pretty much powerless. So, today, inspired by Samantha and the way she just lets the Spirit of the Lord flow through her, I want to do the same.


Self doubt. It is one of those things that walks along the gap between what we thought we could do and what we actually do. It seems as if it completely sucks our lives void of doing anything worthwhile. And while self doubt can be something that completely destroys us, it can also be something that God uses to completely heal us. Self-doubt can be one of those tools He uses to let us know that we must be completely dependent on Him. To know that nothing we do apart from Him will even begin to be worthwhile in the Kingdom of Heaven. In order for our lives to exude a pleasing aroma of love, we must extrude all of the hate, and guilt, and fear, and doubt – and be completely dependent on Him. And mind you, this is not easy to do by any means. Pride gets in the way. My own need to achieve gets in the way. My own fears get in the way. But God says NO, STOP IT!

Bring it to me and lay it at the foot of the cross. Bring it hear and lay it down. For this was never your burden to bear, or your life to hold. Your life has always been in my hands, and I will lead you, if you will follow. Follow me to places your heart longs to go, but never even knew existed. Follow me and I will lead you beside the still waters and the calmed seas. Follow me and you will find everything your heart has been looking for. For in the darkness, Satan longs to steal – kill - and destroy, but I bring life – and I bring it abundantly. I bring heaven, where your Sprit one day will swirl with disbelief that such a place could even exist. I bring you everything you always wanted, but never knew you could have. That’s what I offer. Come and follow me and your heart will find peace. I love you. No one else can love you like I love you. My love is perfect. My love does not doubt. My love does not fear the places in your heart that you have tenderly set boundaries around. No, I will run right into them and heal them. Let me be your everything. Let me place that self-doubt where it belongs, placed tenderly in my hands so that I can use you to further my Kingdom. Because you love me. And because I am crazy about you.

Seedy Saturdays...a new series where we will water the truth seeds and starve the lie weeds!

Have you ever seen the “roll and grow”? It is that carpet looking thingy of seeds that you just roll out in your flower bed, water, wait, and shabam! – you have a beautiful floral garden growing right in your very own backyard!

I have never tried this product, but it sure sounds fantastic! The only thing that has kept me from trying it in the past is that you never know what you are going to get. I would much rather go to the garden store, pick out my plants, and know exactly what I am getting (can you say control freak!)

Have you ever thought of your thought life as a roll and grow? Abundant seeds lie in the carpet, yet which ones will grow? Some seeds have been there since childhood, some were watered, some were not. Some seeds are more recent additions, and again, some are watered and some are not.

There is an abundant carpet of blooming seeds growing in our brains. The good news is…we have a choice which seeds we want to water, and which ones we don’t!

Starting next week I am going to begin a series on cognitive distortions. What is a cognitive distortion you say? Simply things we tell ourselves that aren’t true. They sound rational to us, but only serve to continue our own negative thoughts – to water the weeds!

The first step we will look at will be identifying cognitive distortions. Then we will begin learning to refute them. And one of the best ways I have found to refute them is with scripture – the living breathing life-giving word of God. Before you know it, you will be using God’s word to water the lovely flowers, and those icky weeds will be dying of thirst!

I hope you will join me on this journey! I will be posting every Saturday! Seedy Saturdays! Where we will be watering the truth seeds, and starving the lie weeds!

Linking up with Tiffini for Word Women Wednesdays at the House of Belonging, and hope to see you Saturday for the first official installment of Seedy Saturdays!

Healing...not a one woman show

As a survivor, as one healing, I had certain expectations. I expected that the journey would be difficult. I expected to heal quickly. At one point, I expected my therapist to save me. I expected everyone to “get” what was going on with me. I expected God to bring me back to joy. I knew it wouldn’t be immediate in my head, but my heart expected it now. And I had countless, un-admitted un-acknowledged expectations of the bystanders.

The bystanders. Those that were a part of our lives while the abuse or assault occurred, often completely oblivious to what was going on. And somehow we don’t understand. The question is asked over and over again, “How could someone not have known”? Our pain is so obvious to us that we think it should be written across our face like a scarlet letter. But it’s not. Because, also, many of us developed a very convincing mask. The mask that told everyone that we were just fine. That mask that told ourselves we were just fine when we looked in the mirror, that we didn’t need any help. That we could carry this burden alone, on our one. We were survivors. And in that moment, survivor meant doing things on our own.

Yet, a part of each one of us had to want someone to help. We were too “strong” to ask for it. Too scared to let anyone see the turmoil. No, it was ours to bear, and bear alone.

I have never really seen this as prideful until tonight. I was too hell bent on doing it on my own, that I wasn’t going to let anyone else share in what I had endured. I had endured it, it was my piece of hell to survive, not theirs. And I was angry. I was much too angry, hurt, and prideful to reach out.

Years were spent ensuring that my pride was validated. Years were spent proving to myself that he hadn’t hurt me, and that I was so strong that no one needed to know what happened, and that I would achieve regardless, on my own.

It was only when the valleys in the road started to get so deep that I could no longer pull myself out, 10 plus years of ever deepening valleys, that I RELUCTANTLY went for help. God forced me to a place where I had no choice. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus. Thank you Jesus that you force deliverance out of us sometimes, because that is the only way that our stubborn hearts are going to move.

I had to let God be God. To let the Savior do the saving. To realize that what should have happened, did. To realize that no amount of achievement on my part was going to change the past. That the only thing that could “change” my past, could redeem it and make it something beautiful, was Jesus.

If you are a survivor, please don’t be too afraid to ask for help. It’s your time, and yes, you, are worth God’s time and healing. You are worth getting help. You weren’t meant to bear this alone. It’s time to make some beauty from ashes. Your life is a praiseworthy testimony of His amazing grace and power, bring some praise for that dear sister, and let the redemption songs begin!



Linking up with my awesome sister Jen at Finding Heaven!

The aftermath

I love the warmth of the sun of my face.

I wish I could sit here forever, praise music in my ears.

I feel so close to you (to Him).

Basking in the light, I love it.

Reminded that you are the light.

How awesome it feels to sit in the light, the Son. To bask in Your presence.

To let ever part of me be covered by your light, your warmth.

“You are with me. Your love will light the way. I am found in the light of the aftermath.” Hillsong United, Aftermath

Prayer

Up way too late, LOL! We are going out of town tomorrow for some much needed R&R, but I just couldn’t leave without leaving a quick note for my sisters!

I just want each of you to know how much you bless my life. What a blessing it is to have such a beautiful group of women to share with. To know that I can pour out my heart at any time, about anything, and know that I am not alone. So…just a praying a prayer for all of us this week.

Dear Lord,
You know exactly where each and every one of us are. We are all in different seasons, surrounded by different circumstances. But somehow you lead us all to the same spot on Tuesdays. Thank you for the rich blessing that this sisterhood is. Guide us this week. Hold us where we need to be held. Love us where we need to be loved. Forgive us where we need to be forgiven. And teach us where we need a good lesson. We love you Lord, thank you for being our Savior.
In Jesus Name,
Amen

Prayer is just on my heart this week. I feel like praying. So please, if you have a prayer request. Leave it in the comments, and rest assured knowing that you are being prayed for, by name, every day until next Tuesday.

Love you girlys! See you next week!!!

PLAY Therapy!!!!

Play therapy. It’s not just for kids!

I tend to take my life a bit seriously. But, later this week, I am packing up and heading to Six Flags theme park in Dallas with my kiddos and hubby, for some hardcore PLAY THERAPY.

Ecclesiastes 3: 1-8
For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven. A time to be born and a time to die. A time to plant and a time to harvest. A time to kill and a time to heal. A time to dear down and a time to build up. A time to cry and a time to laugh. A time to grieve and a time to dance. A time to scatter stones and a time to gather stones. A time to embrace and a time to turn away. A time to search and a time to quit searching. A time to keep and a time to throw away. A time to tear and a time to mend. A time to be quiet and a time to speak. A time to love and a time to hate. A time for war and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3: 11-12
Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God’s work from beginning to end. So I concluded there is nothing better than to be happy and enjoy ourselves as long as we can.

So….here we go! A few days of laughing and giggling with some of my favorite peeps on planet earth!!!

And meditating on these verses the whole time…and wondering peacefully what season God has in store for us next.

Are the seasons turning for you? What do you see?

Linking up with a new friend today!!!!



Picture of my kiddos by Jana DeArmond...visit her at www.janadpix.com